Date safe on the Inner Circle
Dating is fun. You get to meet new people, see new places and learn about yourself, all while trying to find someone who’s the perfect fit for you.
Like anything, though, dating has its risks. There are a lot of unknowns when arranging to meet someone for the first time, and it can often be difficult to tell whether a match is being honest about their intentions. There is always a danger, however small, that they’re using the app for the wrong reasons.
We’re constantly striving to make our platform a secure and welcoming place to date, whether that’s by screening each individual user at signup, or having representatives and ambassadors present at every member event. Our dedicated team takes a zero-tolerance approach to any activity which might impact the wellbeing of our community.
Unfortunately, no safety measure is 100% effective. We therefore ask singles to be responsible and vigilant when using Inner Circle, and to report anything that seems suspicious or out of place to us.
Below are some steps you can take to ensure a positive dating experience.
Messaging
Be aware of tactics typically used by scammers
Romance scammers pose as real users on dating apps with the intention of convincing online matches to send them money.
They may claim to be working abroad, either with the military or as a doctor, or have another reason why they cannot meet in real life. They are likely to message often, and offer plenty of compliments to build trust. This grooming process may go on for days or weeks.
Scammers then ask for money to help with an emergency, such as a sudden medical expense or travel problem. They may also ask for funds to clear debts, pay customs fees or acquire a visa.
Never send money or share your financial information if you receive a message like this, even if you have been speaking to the person for weeks.
If someone on Inner Circle asks you to send them money for any reason, please notify us immediately by reporting their profile.
You can find more information on romance scammers by clicking here.
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Do not share personal information
While you should present yourself honestly, and tell your matches about your hobbies, likes and dislikes, it’s important to avoid giving away specifics such as your work address or child’s school.
If a piece of information could be used to pinpoint your location at a certain time, wait until you’ve met the person multiple times before sharing it.
You can find more tips related to online privacy by clicking here.
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Stay on the platform, and report any strange behaviour
If someone tries to move the conversation to a different messaging platform quickly, they may have bad intentions.
Scammers will often try to move their targets away from dating apps to software that gives them more privacy.
Be particularly wary of anyone asking you to send explicit images via an alternative messenger, as these can be used for financial blackmail.
Only give out your phone number if you’re confident your match is genuine.
You can find a guide to staying safe on WhatsApp here, and a similar guide for Instagram here.
Meeting
Always meet in a public place
Don’t arrange a date with someone until you feel ready to meet them in person. We love seeing our members make plans together, but the decision to do so should be mutual.
Once you have a time set, pick a venue that’s public, busy, and easy to get to. A restaurant in a popular part of town is better than a bar in an area you haven’t heard of before.
Never go to a private location, or somewhere there aren’t likely to be other people, on your first few dates with a match.
You can find the spots we recommend in your city by clicking here.
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Plan ahead
Arrange your own journey to and from each date in advance, and make sure you have a back up plan if you’re relying on public transport or a lift from a friend.
Tell someone you trust where you’ll be going on the date, who you’re going to meet and what time you expect to leave. If any of the details change, inform them.
Have all the logistics in place ahead of time, so you can focus on getting to know the person you’re meeting.
You can browse and download a range of ride-sharing apps by clicking here.
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Take precautions, and leave if you need to
Don’t drink more than you’re comfortable with on a date, and be aware that your date may have a higher tolerance than you for either drugs or alcohol.
If you feel pressured to drink or take drugs by the person you’re with, leave the date. Most bar staff are trained to offer assistance if you tell them you’re uncomfortable.
Further, don’t leave your drink unattended at any point, and keep your phone, keys and wallet / purse on you at all times.
Remember that you’re with a stranger, and that it’s best to be cautious until you have met them several times.
You can find more information about drink spiking by clicking here.
More
Further resources to help keep you safe on Inner Circle.
IGLA - a country-by-country breakdown of sexual orientation laws
INHOPE - a network of 47 hotlines concerning child abuse online
RAINN - the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the US
Trans Lifeline - a US organization offering support to trans people in crisis
National Domestic Violence Hotline - a US hotline for victims of domestic abuse
Department of Homeland Security - a definition of human trafficking, published by the US Department of Homeland Security
NHS - a guide to sexually transmitted infections, published by the UK’s National Health Service
Norton - a guide to creating strong passwords, published by cybersecurity experts Norton
You can contact The Inner Circle’s support team at any time by messaging support@theinnercircle.co