OPPOSITES DON’T ATTRACT. (AND THAT’S OKAY)

We’ve all heard it before: ‘Opposites attract.’

It sounds exciting. Like friction, mystery, and fireworks.

But in reality, research suggests the opposite might be true.

Studies from the University of Kansas and Wellesley College have shown that couples with similar personalities, values, and interests are more likely to form strong, lasting relationships. In other words: it’s not our differences that keep us connected, but the comfort of shared ground.

Why does this matter?

Because chemistry is easy to confuse with compatibility.

That instant spark we sometimes chase might come from novelty or tension. Not true alignment.

And while opposites might create excitement at first, it often fades when the lifestyle gaps start to show.

Think about it: if you love early mornings, long hikes, and quiet weekends, and they thrive on nightlife and last-minute plans, how long before it feels like you’re living parallel lives?

Shared habits create rhythm. Shared values build trust. Shared interests make the connection sustainable.